User:Mehrane/Ritual

How-to: Bring back Sheeple.

So, you thought you had finally rid Egypt of Sheeple, dead and buried, never to be baaah'ed, stared at or slobbered on again.

Well think again.

I shall let you in on a little-known fact: a moderate amount of effort dispensed into a fairly simple but accurate ritual is all it takes to bring him back. And here I present to you a depiction of how it is done.

Be warned though, Straw effigies were used in place of certain actors, for a less graphical scene, and also because I will not stay here forever to portray said scene. Certain details will also be left out, but more on that later (or, less, actually).

First, the terrain must be set up.

It is not necessary to set up in front of the tomb, but it <is> to set up on Kush soil. While this here place isn't, a temporary appropriation by means of a pair of banners is sufficient. Think of this as a temporary embassy. Sorry, Gabrielnight, Coyote, and the rest of you Meshwesh inhabitants, no harm intended here.

A decent-sized octogram shall encircle the whole ritual. Each branch will be marked with a pillar that will house the different foci used to cleanse the place.
It shall be oriented so that pairs of branches are contained in a square, and foci of each element will be set up toward each cardinal point.
Air to the north, Fire to the east, Earth to the south and Water to the west.

Pay no mind to the Air foci, they do like to hover on their pillar. And be sure to align Fire and Earth foci, it has been proven miss-aligning them disturbs the whole. As to how the Foci are made, *the rest of the page is irregularly torn, as if munched on*

Note the foci are also paired by alternating absorbing and emitting ones, creating a flow at the periphery of the octogram that achieves the cleansing of the place. Finish the terrain arrangement by placing the 4 cauldrons in each quadrant, and erecting the central pole. For good measure, also place an onion between each pair of pillars. It fills up the circle nicely and you can never have enough onions in this ritual.

Secondly, the fumes.

The octogram also contains what happens inside, that is the all important 4 brews that will generate particular fumes to achieve the channeling. But more on this in the next part.

In each cauldron, a very particular mixture is brewed from extremely varied ingredient.

A base "soup" is common to all 4 (involving beer and onions among the most common ingredient) but 4 batches must be made separately in each quadrant. The element combination of the quadrant starts modifying the brew right away and you DON'T want this brewed in a non-safely contained place. Those barely noticeable fumes are no joke.
When the fumes are totally gone, the "soup" is ready. The batches are generally not done at the same time, there is a notion of tweaking the mixture as it goes with a bit of randomness in the time.

This is where each quadrant will now receive its own set of further ingredients to achieve start up the ritual. You will want ingredients on hand so you can *the page is weirdly damaged, as if a small hoof had crushed it*hen the fumes start pouring again, this particular batch is ready and will self-maintain. And when all 4 are done, you can move on to the final phase.

Thirdly, the conduit.

Almost done !
The technical part is done, all that remains is activating the ritual.

For that, you will need a decently-crafted human male effigy. It should be bound to the central pole (it is unexplained yet why, but it must be so. At least it doesn't require a living human anymore. Not even a human corpse anymore).
Once secured into position, stab open the chest area around where the heart should be, and firmly stuff an onion in place. This will bring back the soul of the Sheeple to the effigy, and direct it to the nearest sheep for immediate appropriation. And you're done.

Closing

There you go. Hope you better understand a little piece of Kush tradition.

Oh, and pay no mind to Paulo in the back with his wheelbarrow and shovel. Failed experiment disposal is not required anymore since the conduit was replaced over the years by less corpse-disposal-required material, but he died to a very tragic incident during a key experiment that allowed to totally rule out human element from the conduit, and ever since, he still stays on stand-by in case his services are required again.